blog mail

Momma, Don’t let your boys grow up to be a FBMSRPU*

My recent trip to Lehigh University for SEM/EDS training has brought an old Playboy cartoon from the 70’s to mind. In a simple line drawing a decorated, but confused general sits looking at a chalk board with MIRV written on it while the lab coated individual (there’s the science
connection) made a presentation. The general is lost in thought mentally formulating all the possible combination of MIRV:
Multiple Independent Reentry Vehicles,
Multiple Independent Reentry Vectors,
Multiple Independent Reentry Velocities
Many Independent Reentry Vehicles,
Many Independent Retrograde Vehicles

Well you get the idea.

Where’s the microscopy?

Look at all the acronyms used in our field. Lehigh had to prepare a common acronym page to insure the students would have some idea what was
happening.

“So the EDS was removed from the FESEM so I could interface the EBSD. That gave me the needed BKP. I needed to add a CL image which I displayed on my CRT, but the FEG expired. This TKO the project and I went out for a BLT.”

If I offend you, sorry, I’m still trying to figure out if I should send flowers for the expired FEG.

A recent board meeting came up with the idea of having a half day seminary teaching acronyms so the participants could attend and understand any scientific meeting. I like the idea. I still don’t know if EDS means Energy Dispersion or Dispersive Spectroscopy. You can imagine my confusion with ZAF, ZAP and ZOLZ.

I propose we change all the names. Lets rename them Ted, or Johnny or Mary. These are names we all know and understand. A name is just a short hand tag to identify an individual complex concept ((ICC) Opps; sorry it just slipped in here). X-ray Fluorescence could become Mary. Dark Field could be called Dirk. Polarized light Microscopy could be Skip. We would then discuss things like, “I got a becke line with Skip and solved the problem.” Doesn’t this sound so much more friendly and human!

Of course they are a few problems… “Mary’s old, but I ran her all night and I got really great output from her.” “I have Dirk on my Skip, I’m having trouble lining them up back to back.”

Well, maybe M&M can do something about this.

*Female Bovine Modular Sorter and Range Processing Unit

Frank Karl